power of choice

In our lives we each make hundreds, if not thousands, of small choices every single day. Examples include…. Do I get out of bed now or push the snooze button?  What clothes do I put on?  What do I have for breakfast?  What route do I take to work?  Etc…  The list goes on and on.  There is a great little saying that ‘Choices determine our habits, habits determine our character, and character determines our destiny.’ There is great truth in the fact that the “little choices” we make each day end up playing a significant role in the quality and the impact of our lives.  -  What if we, as facilitators, could begin to help people understand this concept and begin the process of making wiser choices in their day to day lives? 

On our course we operate under a philosophy we call “Challenge by Choice”.  This is something that we communicate to every group that comes to our course.  We typically only take a few moments to discuss this with group members, but the concept of choice is such an integral part of what we do that it’s necessary to dive into this topic in much greater detail to provide all facilitators a foundation from which to lead groups.

At the simplest level “challenge by choice” means that every participant is always able to select the level of challenge that he/she is willing to experience.  While we do want to encourage our participants to move beyond their personal comfort zones, it is never our place to force someone into something they are not willing to experience.  Having said this, each person’s choice to engage or disengage in a particular activity is always rooted in something deeper, whether that deeper issue be a past experience, a current circumstance leading to doubt, or a fear of what may occur in the future.  Depending on the timeframe of the particular program, we have a great opportunity to help people engage with their feelings and explore the reasons why they make the choices that they make.

To help illustrate our goal as facilitators, it’s helpful to think of the activities that we lead fitting into 1 of 3 zones for each individual, as illustrated below…

We like to think about people operating within 3 different zones:

Comfort Zone – This is where a person is very comfortable.  If we leave participants here, there is really no opportunity for growth or life change to occur.

Stretch/Learning Zone – This is our target.  We desire to move participants to places where they are experiencing appropriate challenges that are causing them to push themselves beyond their personal comfort zones, but without putting them into a situation where they panic.

Panic Zone – If something stretches too much it will eventually break… We never want to push someone to a breaking point where they enter a state of panic.  Once a person reaches this point then a facilitator has typically lost trust with the individual and perhaps even played a role in causing mental or emotional harm to the individual.

Our goal as facilitators is to encourage all participants to be actively involved and to be stretched in every activity that we lead.  The tricky part of this is that no 2 people are the same and no 2 people will be challenged appropriately in exactly the same way.  For some individuals it will be a challenge to attempt a high element like a zip line or giant swing.  Others will find these experiences enjoyable and may not be challenged by even the scariest high elements.  Some may be stretched by being asked to speak up during a debriefing session while others may be most challenged by being asked to remain quiet.  Some people may be challenged by blindfolds, while for others it’s being asked to stand very close to others during activities.  There will be extreme reactions by participants as well as every variation in between.  As you can see, facilitating a group well while being attentive to the needs of the individuals present is hard work!

When making choices it’s important to recognize that there are two radically different forms of motivation we experience. 

1. Internal motivation that comes from within us.  Internal motivation consists of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that we experience when making decisions.  This can be based on our current or past circumstances as well as our thoughts and feelings about how this choice will affect the future. 

2. External motivation that involves things coming from outside of us. There are many external forces that cause us to feel pressured in our decision making.  Examples of these external factors include

   1. Pressure from peers, a boss, a teacher, our parents, or a facilitator on the course. Obviously, these forms of pressure are not healthy and should be recognized and avoided.

   2. Implied goals due to the structure of the activities on the course.  For example, on the 60’ climbing tower, there may be an implied goal for many participants that they must reach the top in order to be successful.  Even if the facilitator does not frame the activity in this manner it may be understood to be the case by participants, particularly if other group members are achieving this standard. 

Our role as facilitators is to help our participants recognize the internal pressures that they are experiencing and deal with these honestly while seeking to minimize the external pressures. 

We have the great opportunity to help participants honestly evaluate their internal motivations by asking appropriate questions before, during, and after activities.  We should be aware of signs that participants are uncomfortable with various situations and then seek to explore what is at the root of this lack of comfort. 

So, what we can do to minimize external pressure throughout the program? 

1. Properly frame the experiences before activities begin.  This starts at the very beginning of the program when the ‘challenge by choice’ philosophy is introduced.  This should then be reinforced and expanded upon throughout the program by all staff so that participants are hearing a common message about challenging themselves appropriately. 

2. Seek to remain aware of the relational pressures that may exists within the group from peers, bosses, teachers, etc…  If there is pressure being placed on a participant by another group member then it’s appropriate to address the issue in a straight-forward manner, reminding the group about challenge by choice. 

3. Remain aware of potential implied goals that may exist in each activity and frame those activities in a manner that empowers participants to choose the level of involvement that is appropriate for them at that moment. 

Prior to every high activity, each facilitator with perform a 4-H check on each participant. (Head, Harness, Hardware, HEART). A simple, process to help participants learn to make choices is simply to focus in on the “Heart” with each person before they climb. Simply be intentional with each person, asking them to choose a goal for themselves.  Here’s where it becomes cool….

Once an individual has identified a goal for themselves then you, as the facilitator, now have the information you need to encourage that participant appropriately.  If they stop short of their goal, you can encourage them to it because this is a choice that they have made for themselves. 

Once they reach that goal, if they desire to continue beyond their stated goal that’s great, but you should not choose to encourage them further or allow other group members to do so.  Encouraging someone beyond where they have stated they want to go is not encouragement at all - it’s coercion. To push someone beyond the goal they have identified for themselves at that time can be extremely unhealthy. At that point YOU are becoming an external motivator and teaching them to yield to peer pressure or even bullying.  Don’t fall into the trap of believing that YOU know what is best for them, but simply honor the choice they’ve made and celebrate the success of reaching that goal. 

If they stop short of the goal they set for themselves, then you have already gained their permission to encourage them to the goal they personally set.  If they would like to change their goal, this is acceptable, but make them own that decision.  Either way, this becomes a great processing tool once the activity is over and you have an opportunity to talk through the choice(s) that were made.

On the ropes course it’s easy for a situation to be seen as “failure” when someone fails to reach a certain goal.  On the contrary, this situation can be very positive and can even become a defining moment for an individual or a group.  The bottom line is that it takes guts to stand up and say “No.  I’m not comfortable with this.” 

Think about how many times in our lives we end up saying “yes” to things when we should have said “no”.  Saying “no” can be a great choice!  How often are teenagers asked to make choices involving alcohol, drugs, sex, cheating, etc…?  These are situations where we would agree that “no” is the appropriate answer and yet it’s easy to get pressured, internally as well as externally, into doing things that are inappropriate.  As adults, how often do we choose to say “yes” to things simply because we are afraid to stand up and say “no”?  Examples range from simply agreeing to things that take our time when they are not the most productive to situations that may be immoral or illegal. 

As facilitators, when our participants choose to say “no. I’d prefer not to do something.” This can be a tremendous opportunity to celebrate the choice that was made and lead into a discussion about what it looks like to make wise decisions in day to day life.

What if we began to applaud and celebrate when our people chose to say “no” and make good choices for themselves?

A very real issue with many programs is dealing with a desire to encourage participants to stretch themselves while also watching the clock.  In a perfect world we would continue to work with each individual as long as necessary, but in reality, a vast majority of our programs have a component of time that must be honored with the group.  If someone is close to pushing beyond a personal barrier it can be very difficult to say “oh well.  Time is up!”, so how do we deal with this tension?  The bottom line is that this is always a judgment call on the part of the facilitator.  The facilitator should not give up too soon when an individual is experiencing difficulty, but should continue, within reasonable limits, to challenge him/her to press on to the goal they set for themselves.  To rescue too soon provides an easy way out that some participants seek.  To continue too long can create ill feelings, resentment and even panic.  Remember that your primary goal as a facilitator is to manage the risk of the group and this includes emotional risk.

Depending on how much time is left in the program, you may have to make a difficult call to have someone stop short of reaching their personal goal in order to provide others with an opportunity to participate as well.  If you find yourself in a situation where you are short on time, here are some tangible ways to address this with the group:

• Talk to the group about it. Many times simply bringing up the issue of time will cause people to move in a quicker manner.

• Set a time limit on each participant.  If necessary, you can simply implement a “5 minute per person” rule for the activity.  It can become a revised goal to see how far each person is able to progress within the time period allotted.

• Revise the day’s schedule.  If the activity you are participating in is not the final activity of the day, you may choose to forego the following activity in order to fully experience the one you are on.

It’s worth noting that much of this content on “Choice” was developed and taught by Tom Leahy - Leahy & Associates, Boulder, CO. We’ve learned a ton about this area from Tom and are thankful for his work and contribution to our industry.